Rabbi Liberman – Modeling a Commitment to Judaism
The most powerful lesson about Jewish learning I ever received was from my parents. It wasn’t actually a specific Halachic understanding, nor ritual action or even holiday observance. To be sure, those were lessons I also learned. No, the most powerful lesson I ever learned from my parents – was to learn about my Judaism! How did they teach this? I believe (even if they did not exactly use this language) that they impressed this lesson on me as taught through the words of Rabbi Shammai in Pirkei Avot, “Say little, do much.” In my family, that ideal was truly lived out. There were very few words about whether or not we had an option to go to religious school – we simply went. No discussion, no alternatives! The expectation was set! We were, as children, guided by our parents with the steadfast requirement and understood commitment that we were to be part of our community through learning and other programs of Jewish engagement.
I realize that for some, this may seem like parenting from the days of yore or that no family could ever really live by that sort of unwavering stance on this issue if any such concern, but for me this lesson was what I and my brothers experienced as real and to this day, still very informative and persuasive in our lives.
Joel Grishaver, a powerful Jewish educator and master teacher of text, illuminates this lesson even more profoundly in his book, 40 Things You Can Do To Save the Jewish People. For reason #32 he writes, ‘The single most powerful way of insuring that your children take their Jewish education seriously is to continue your own Jewish learning.” And then he shares a story.
“A man once came to the Kotsker Rebbe and complained that his son did not want to learn Torah. (Even though it wasn’t Hebrew School he was talking about – we know those fights.)
He asked the Rebbe: ‘What should I do?’
The Kotsker Rebbe told him: ‘If you force your child to study Torah, he will study Torah as long as you make him do so. And, in fact, he will grow up and make his child study Torah in his time. However, if you devote yourself to Torah study, soon you will find your child by your side asking to study with you.’
Get it?” Grishaver concludes, “Do as I do…”
What I have come to realize as an adult about most things I learned from my parents is that what they wanted from me had less to do with what they told me and far more to do with what they showed me! My parents were engaged in the shul community; my dad always ready to help out with building projects and my mom, as a teacher and eventually the school principal, constantly setting an unwavering example of commitment. (Talk about getting away with nothing as a kid at shul!) This is a vision and message of Jewish engagement and learning that far exceeds any other lesson. Simply, “do as I do…”
When I envision a Jewish child at Beth Jacob today leaving our shul community, stepping out into the world as a newly minted young Jewish adult, I think of all the tools and knowledge they will need to be successful in life as Jews. Many needed skills and values will have been learned in school and from their homes. In that toolbox, however, must also be their ability to make meaning out of the world. As Jews, this meaning is one infused with Jewish traditions and teachings, serving as potential sources of strength and enduring connection for the moments in which they will soon find themselves confronting. My hope is that they will be ready to make choices and decisions, on their own, that are rooted in our Jewish values and ethics. As educators, we often talk about what we want the ideal graduate to‘look like’when they leave our learning program. This is my picture – that our young people will have a sense of profound Jewish connection as well as carry with them Jewish skills helping them to embrace the world ahead with assurance, understanding and Jewish passion.
Attending Shabbat Enrichment, participating in the afternoon program at Talmud Torah, being part of the student community of HMJDS or TTSP Day School all become necessary components leading to the comfort and security that our children will have in their Jewish identity. There are no absolutes in our world, yet I believe our job as Jewish educators and as a shul community is to work with our parents (the first and foremost teachers of our children,) to plant the seeds of Jewish knowledge, nurture their growth and to prepare our children to ultimately stand with confidence rooted in the extraordinary power that is our Jewish tradition.
I look forward to our continuing journey of Jewish learning and to the partnering of all our resources, shul, school and home, toward making this path one filled with meaning and Jewish nourishment for our children and families as well as all members of our Beth Jacob community.
L’Shalom,
Rabbi Lynn Liberman
Director of Congregational Learning