Mazal tov on beginning to think about this important milestone in the life of your child and your family! The years surrounding b’nai mitzvah are precious and remarkable years of growth for our young people, spanning the transition from childhood to adolescence, learning to take responsibility for their own Jewish lives and becoming more involved in the life of the community.
Becoming B’nai Mitzvah marks the transition to spiritual and legal responsibility for the performance of mitzvot/commandments. When we celebrate young people becoming B’nai Mitzvah, we celebrate that they are developing their own personal relationship with our tradition, entering Jewish “adulthood.” This learning and growing period provides the opportunity to embrace the richness, depth, and complexity of our heritage.
We mark this transition with an aliyah to the Torah, engagement with our sacred texts and liturgy, and with students in our community becoming our teachers. Becoming b’nai mitzvah is more than just the work of a single day, and more than just the preparation for that day. Launching into an age of responsibility means having the support and knowledge to make it possible to continue that journey forward.
Parents, as you prepare for your children to enter into the next phase of their Jewish life, we are here to support and help them grow during these years. Please be in touch with your questions and thoughts about this process. There is rich learning ahead for all of us, and we are excited to embark on it together.
A B’nai Mitzvah Experience that Reflects our Core Values
At Beth Jacob, the B’nai Mitzvah experience is grounded in our shul’s core values:
Torah (study of sacred texts), Avodah (Prayer and Spiritual Work) and Gemilut Chasadim (Act of Kindness).
These values are reflected in the following elements of our b’nai mitzvah learning and celebrations:
Torah – Study of Sacred Texts
- Engaging in meaningful learning sessions with one of our rabbis, studying the Torah portion and preparing a D’var Torah
- Chanting from the Torah and/or Haftarah:
- The Rishon (first) Aliyah
- The Maftir (last) Aliyah
- Additional aliyot or Haftarah portions if desired
Avodah – Prayer and Spiritual Work
- Being called to the Torah for an aliyah for the first time
- Leading up to three parts of our Shabbat morning service, plus one part on the Thursday prior. The parts of the service on Shabbat are:
- Pesukei D’Zimra
- Shacharit
- Torah Services (Taking Out/Putting Back)
- Musaf
- Choosing and engaging in mitzvot that reflect growth in both ethical and ritual practices
Gemilut Hasadim – Acts of Kindness
- Select a meaningful Tzedakah Project, either individually or as a family
- Commit to doing ethical mitzvot on a regular basis
An Inclusive and Welcoming Community
Beth Jacob embraces and celebrates the beautiful diversity of Jewish families today. We welcome families with members who identify as LGBTQ+, interfaith couples, single-parents, intergenerational families and more—you all belong here. We also invite open conversations with our senior rabbi about participation and inclusion. Our community is fully egalitarian, and thus all honors are available to Jewish adults of any gender.
Including Interfaith Family Members
Our community is deeply enriched by families with multiple religious heritages, and we are grateful for the love and support that interfaith family members bring to b’nai mitzvah celebrations. All family members should feel welcomed, honored, and included on this meaningful day.
Our ritual practices follow halachic guidelines and certain ritual roles during the service—being called to the Torah for an aliyah, opening the ark, and lifting/wrapping the Torah—are limited to those who are Jewish according to halachah. These boundaries reflect our commitment to Jewish tradition and are not a measure of anyone’s importance within the family or the community.
We are pleased to offer meaningful ways for non-Jewish family members to participate in the service. Non-Jewish parents, grandparents, and loved ones are warmly invited to:
- Read the Prayer for Peace from the bimah, and
- Stand together with the child and family for the Shehecheyanu, marking and celebrating this milestone moment.
These moments allow the entire family to share in the joy, pride, and gratitude of the occasion while honoring the integrity of our ritual tradition.
If you have questions about participation or would like help planning roles that feel meaningful and appropriate for your family, we encourage you to speak with the Rabbi well in advance of the b’nai mitzvah. We are committed to working with you to ensure that your celebration reflects both your family and our community’s values.
Beth Jacob Congregation B’nai Mitzvah Handbook
Our B’nai Mitzvah handbook contains everything you need to plan and prepare for a meaningful celebration at Beth Jacob. From ceremony logistics and Torah study requirements to reception planning and family responsibilities, you’ll find comprehensive guidance to help make this milestone both spiritually significant and joyfully memorable. Whether you’re just beginning the planning process or finalizing details, this resource will support you every step of the way. Please reach out to Senior Rabbi Tamar Magill-Grimm or Executive Director, Sonya Rapport with any questions or concerns.